Topsy-Turvy

It's been an emotional day today. My feelings always creep up on me. Right out of the blue. All I can say for myself is that I am actually feeling them these days. A step in the right direction. Not distracting myself from them or convincing myself that they are not there. Letting it happen. Being with myself. Not fun, but true. I'm learning that truth can feel good too. A different kind of good. A healthy (occasionally painful-but real) kind of good.

This AM I was so keyed-up about my trip that it was hard to focus on anything else. I can't believe that on Friday I will get on a plane and ten hours later when I get off, M will be waiting for me. It's not entirely real to me yet. We will have two weeks together and then....who knows??? OK....the feelings are back. Argh....